Jan
01Predictions for Hip Hop in the Next 10 Years
Filed Under (Uncategorized) by FuNkwoRm on 01-01-2010
It’s a new year and with it, the beginning of a new decade. A lot of other blogs and writers have been offering their opinions on what the next 10 years will bring for music and technology, so I thought I’d add my two cents to the convo. Here are a few things that I think we’ll see in hip hop before the next 10 years are over.
1. Advance technology for the lyrically challenged
Gotta weak flow? Much like it’s distance cousin, Auto-Tune, helped the lacking singer, the Flowmatic will help the rapper who needs a little boost with his lyrical dexterity. Just plug your mic into the input, and turn the dial to your favorite emcee, and you’ll soon be on everybody’s top 5 list!
2. Anti-theft chains
Okay, you walk in the club ready to floss for the ladies with your new, diamond encrusted, spongebob squarepants chain, when some hater tries to jack you for your shine. Little does he know, that you have a Smart Chain.
This chain recognizes the owners DNA, and when an unauthorized person tries to wear it, they receive an electric shock the equivalence of a taser gun. This will render the hater helpless long enough for you to get your chain back and bounce to another club. Never again will you have to worry about fools passing your chain around and filming it for Youtube. This can be detrimental to your rap career.
3. Congress passes the E-blast Violation Act
After many protests and riots in the streets from angry citizens fed up with unsolicited email from hip hop artists, congress finally passes the E-blast Violation Act. There are a small number of people who think that the strict minimum of 25 years in the clink is a bit excessive, but the majority think that it’s well deserved.
Have a prosperous new year!




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i must admit i was prepared for an insightful articles of your hip hop predictions; but, you totally surprised me with a hint of humor. LOVED IT! that was funny as hell and refreshing! nice twist, funkworm! now i have to call my congressman about that e-blast violation act. make sure he understands how important it is to get it to pass into law! LOL!
Reply to kasey
ahahahaha you are hilarious haha…anti-theft chains haha
Reply to Praverb
The Anti-Theft Chain is awesome. That thing would sell instantly if it were real. All kinds of paranoid rich people would have one.
I’ve got a hip-hop prediction that’ll happen in the next ten years. All hip-hop music will be free.
Reply to Kid Captain Coolout